cycle
i'm stuck in this binge cycle and i seriously hate it so much. i can't restrict like i used to. i miss it horribly. i felt terrible and i never was satisfied, (i'm still unhappy, even more than before) but at least i looked good sometimes. now i'm fat and disgusting. all the progress i made is completely gone. i'm trying so hard to fix myself but i just can't anymore. i want to die because of it. i miss the girl i was. i had discipline. now i'm just a fat fuck who eats for comfort.
every effort goes to waste. i start to wonder what's the point of any of this. it's never going to get better. maybe i'll just stay miserable since it's all i know. i seriously doubt i'll ever be truly at peace with myself.
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